Harsh Realities
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: McSwarek - future fic: When tragedy strikes in an unexpected form Sam is there for Andy and shows her that it is okay to move on.


Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

A.N. When tragedy strikes, many people hear it, feel sorry for a little while and then move on. When you know someone who is now gone because of the tragedy, it is much harder to move on as quickly. Miss Carole, this is for you. You were an inspiration to everyone who knew you and I will miss you. Rest in peace.

* * *

Andy quickly slipped on her black dress and grabbed the jacket that went with her "cheap thrills" outfit (as Sam had called it on their first undercover mission together).

Glancing at the sleeping figure on the bed, she quickly flitted into the bathroom to fix her hair and her makeup.

When she returned, a small smile ghosted her face. Andy gently lifted her sleeping daughter and held her close, thinking about the events from three days ago.

_Flashback_

_ Andy and Traci were returning from a B&E with a perp in the backseat. When they drove into the station, Sam met them and asked Traci to start the booking process before pulling Andy out of the station._

_ Andy was confused but followed him. He led her to a secluded bench and sat down next to her. "Andy, sweetheart", he pulled her closer and she immediately stiffened. Something was wrong, really wrong._

_ "Is Katie okay?" she wasn't hysterical yet but she was close._

_ Sam nodded and ran his hand soothingly through her hair. "Katie's fine. Do you remember Jason Parks?"_

_ Andy glanced at Sam. "Of course. He and my dad were partners until they both became training officers."_

_ Sam nodded again. "While your father became a homicide detective, Parks was transferred to another division to straighten it out. He was offered several promotions but he turned down all of them saying he loved his current position."_

_ Andy pulled away from her husband and studied his face. She knew all of this information already. "What happened to Jason? Sam, tell me!"_

_ "Andy" Sam pulled her close again "Jason was the type of sergeant who went out into the field constantly with his officers. There was a deal today…" he trailed off, unable to say anything else._

_ Andy felt sorrow radiating from his body. "He's gone isn't he?"_

_ "I'm sorry sweetheart" Sam whispered and then held her while she cried._

_End Flashback_

Andy glanced at the clock and realized she had been sitting in the same position for almost twenty minutes. If she didn't hurry, she was going to be late. Sam would not say anything, he was used to her being late ever since Katie was born. But today of all days, she needed to be ready on time.

_Flashback_

_ Sam had told her the news before it was publicized. He had been Parks' rookie the year that Tommy McNally had trained Oliver Shaw. When Frank Best (another one of Sam's rookie year-mates) got the news, he went to Sam, telling Sam to take the rest of the day off. Sam had pointed out Andy's connection and Frank had agreed that Andy should take the rest of the day as well._

_ When Andy calmed herself, Sam informed her of the plan and the two picked up their daughter from daycare and went to gently break the news to Tommy McNally before he heard it from a news reporter._

_End Flashback_

Andy found her shoes and slipped them on while Katie slumbered peacefully in her arms. Andy was about to search for her purse when she heard a key in the front door. She descended the stairs in time to see her husband entering the house, in full uniform.

_Flashback_

_ There was no question Andy was going to attend the funeral, as was Sam. Frank was giving them both the afternoon off._

_ The plans changed a day after Superintendent Peck had nationally announced that Staff Sergeant Jason Parks had been killed in the line of duty._

_ Frank placed Sam and Andy in booking, giving them time to grieve since booking had some lulls. During one of the lulls, Andy's cell phone went off. She looked at the caller ID and then glanced at Sam. "It's Dad."_

_ Sam sensed her unease as he moved to her and began rubbing her back. "Answer it."_

_ Andy answered and discovered that her father was with Annie Parks, Jason's widow, working out the funeral arraignments. "Annie wants you at the funeral Andy."_

_ Andy glanced up at Sam. "I know Dad, Sam and I will both be there."_

_ "Andy, you are like a daughter to Annie."_

_Andy immediately understood what her father was saying. "I'll talk to my sergeant Dad. Is there anything else I can do?"_

"_The boys are flying in as we speak and I am going later to pick them up from the airport, but maybe you should come over here later and just sit with Annie. She's still in shock. Bring Katie." He knew the magic a child could bring into a situation like this and he knew that Andy would understand why he wanted her to bring Katie.  
_

"_I will Dad. Bye." She hung up and then looked up at her husband. "Annie wants me at the funeral. I was like a daughter to her."_

_Sam was confused. "We were already planning to go to the funeral."_

_Andy shook her head. "She sees me as a daughter Sam. She doesn't want to see me in uniform. Dad says she's still in shock."_

_Sam nodded. "Go talk to Frank. Ask for the whole day off."_

_End Flashback_

Sam met Andy by the foot of the stairs. "You okay?"

Andy nodded and let him kiss her. She melted into him for a second before pushing away. She looked at him and then carefully handed him their sleeping child. "Hold her for a minute so I can find my purse."

Sam smiled. "You leaving her with the neighbors?"

"Yeah. Carole loves Katie and since her children are all in school she said she wouldn't mind." Andy had decided not to bring Katie to daycare once she was taking the day off from work. She needed the comfort of her daughter and her neighbor was always willing to help out - not that Andy ever took advantage until today.

Sam left the house to bring Katie to the neighbors as Andy quickly located her purse and locked up. When she reached the driveway, she saw Sam leaning against the squad car. He opened the door for her.

Neither said a word during the short trip. Sam held Andy's hand in his own and caressed it lightly.

When they reached their destination, Sam got out and opened the door for Andy. He led her to her father. Tommy McNally informed his daughter and son-in-law that they would be seated directly behind the family.

Andy sat with Sam's arm around her. She leaned on his shoulder as the tears streamed down her face. Sam's other hand held one of hers and he caressed it gently. It was his way of telling her he was there for her. Her other hand rested in the hand of her father, gently giving him strength as he tried to stay strong during his friend's funeral.

When the speeches finished, everyone stood. Annie Parks pulled Andy into her arms and hugged her. "Thank you for being here Andy."

Andy gave a watery smile. "You and Jason were always there for me and my dad, through thick and thin." She hugged Annie again.

Annie turned to Sam. "Thank you for coming Sam. Jason always spoke so highly of you."

Sam shook his head. "It is I who should be thanking you. Jason helped me become the cop I am today."

The couple talked with Annie for another minute before moving towards the exit.

* * *

As Sam drove away, he would drop Andy off at home and she would pick up Katie before heading to the Parks residence to set up the food while he would return to work, Andy spoke. "Does it get any easier?"

Sam glanced at her and thought for a second. "Losing an officer is always hard. Losing an officer that you personally knew is even harder. We know the risks when we sign up for the job but we all hope that nothing will happen. It is our job and someone has to do it, even knowing the risks."

Andy sighed and glanced out the window. She saw a smiling couple walked down the street hand-in-hand. "Look at that. A great man died and they walk down the street as if the world is such a great place and nothing has changed in the past few days."

Sam stopped by a red light and turned to look at her. "Andy, look at me." When he had her attention he spoke. "Jason was a great person and a great cop. It is because of him that these people can walk down the street without a care in the world. We're not going to forget him. Every day when his men go out to do their job, the world is a safer place because of Jason's actions and planning to ensure that his cops are working to their full potential. Every day that I go out and get my job done and save lives, it is because he taught me. His teachings were passed down to you and we in turn will pass them down to other rookies and Katie."

Andy nodded and Sam pulled his attention back to the street.

When they arrived at home, Sam looked at her. "Are you okay? Should I call Frank and tell him I'm taking off the rest of the day?"

Andy shook her head. "No, one thing Jason always used to tell me was to keep my head high and follow my gut. My gut is telling me that you should be back at work."

Andy got out of the car. Right before she closed the door, she stuck her head back inside. "That's where you got the whole 'trust your gut' speech, isn't it? That was Jason all the way."

Sam nodded. The smile that lit Andy's face told Sam that they would weather this storm of grief for a father figure together. "I love you sweetheart. Give Katie a kiss for me."

Andy closed the door and waved as her husband pulled the cruiser out of the driveway and drove away. Reality was harsh and she had lost a man who meant a lot to her (and Sam) but with her husband they would weather the storm of reality and become stronger and better as people and cops. "Thank you Jason" she whispered as she looked up at the sky.

As she made her way across the lawn to pick up her daughter, a ray of sunlight pierced through the cloudy sky.

* * *

A.N. Reviews make my day and if you couldn't tell from my note at the beginning, I'm in a sad mood right now - drop a line and let me know what you think (and hopefully it will inspire me to finish the two chapters I have in the works for Obeying Orders and Just a Virus).


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